Dear Miss Cuttatree,
I have gotten some information about you. You know, not out of the ordinary kind of stuff. Here’s what I heard: You are a horrible person. Also I have written this letter to convince you not to cut down all of these trees for your resort. I mean, we have enough resorts. And you don’t want a bunch of owl pellets that your guests will step on, do you?. You and I both know that the first month of a business is the most important to make your customers happy. If that didn’t change your mind, maybe this will: My name is The long eared owl, but my friends call me Ears (by the way, don’t call me ears) and their nestlings call me Miss Long. You can call me Asio otus, for short, otus, if you will. Since you’re you and I’m me, don’t you dare make fun of my ears. They’re not really even ears, so don’t call me by saying, “oh miss big ears…” I won’t come. If you call me by yelling, “Hey yo, Tufts, get down here,” I might come down from terrorizing your guests. Oh, and my spots don’t they just make me look beautiful. Because I will be too busy making you miserable, I am going to be kind of lazy, so I am going to steal a hawk or a crows nest. Guess your bird watching group won’t be too happy–sorry. not sorry–although they will enjoy watching me (a 27 to 40 cm tall bird) swoop down and take all their gear. Oh, and when they think their luck is down, just wait for me and my babies to make noise at night. When the old people come back from the shuffleboard, they will sue you for giving them a heart attack from seeing a bird on their bed (although they could probably just lift me up as I weigh only 260g to 435 g). Girl, when you see me angry, you’ll wish that you hadn’t spent all that money on the uppity resort because my wingspan is 90-100 centimeters. Seriously, look at my face.
By the way, I have been spying on you. But I won’t tell you how… oh, ok, fine, I’ll tell you. Well, I use it on all predators: raptors, eagles, hawks, you. I fly onto a tree, then I sort of spread out, and then I flatten my belly so that it looks like I am a tree limb. But then I usually get distracted, (because you’re so mean) and I go and get dinner. My dinner is usually voles, kangaroo rats, deer mice, snakes, or lizards. Wait, sorry, I got off track. Now, let’s get down to business. If you cut down these trees, all of the animals that live in them will die. If you are wondering what any of this does to you, well, here it is: If you cut down all of these trees then what you will have for dessert is rats and mice, things that the owls and other predators dependent on the trees eat. These animals keep the rodent population down. That’s why you shouldn’t cut down forests for your resort!